New Beginnings

I can truly say I've missed blogging! It's been way too long. In my defense it's been quite an hectic few months, moving, starting a new job, and adjusting to a new chapter in my life. In my previous post I shared my concerns about being away from family and friends and a change in life, but I can say I'm truly content in the situation I am in. I firmly believe God's plan for me is remarkable and I'm willing to accept where ever it may take me. And my job is a great illustration of that. I haven't met a lot of people who actually enjoy their experience in their first job right out of college, but I'm actually very pleased with mine. It wasn't where I saw myself initially but I'm glad I listened to Him and cannot imagine how my experience would have been if I had taken the path I had designed for myself.

I have to admit it was a struggle in the beginning getting used to change. It was quite tempting to fall back into the world and my old self by not having a community of believers to hold me accountable. But I'm so thankful for the grace of God and for great people in my life. I'm thinking of one in particular who knew my struggles and prayerfully encouraged me. Only God knows how much love my heart holds for you sis (you know who you are). In the interim, I'm still praying to find a community of believers to fellowship with but I'm happy to say my love for God is not affected by that void.

Switching gears a bit. Something that's been on my mind that I almost don't want to share but I've vowed to be a transparent writer - and transparency I will uphold. Have you ever felt people are exceptionally nice to you? Or you meet people who just become such a blessing to you? Well....I do! When I share stories of my good fortune, people really find it hard to believe, even I'm caught off guard at times. Being alone and having to take care of everything myself, it's more evident. From getting free things to ridiculous discounts like up to 400 off furniture to meeting a well-respected retired cop who lives in my building and has a pull in the system clear my outstanding tickets...and this is really just to name a few. I don't say all this to sound pretentious but the only rationale I can really come up with is I really feel like the glory of God is upon my life, every aspect of it. I'm truly blessed and highly favored! I know the saying is "it's more of a blessing to give than to receive," but receiving is really nice. When it happens to you I'm sure you'll agree too. But as someone who loves to give, it's really nice to see that God doesn't forget about me. Experiencing new beginnings....

Letting Go...

To start off...I am officially a graduate from college! Yea and with DOS/DIEU (the number 2 for Spanish/French illiterate) degrees. Definitely could not have done it without the strength from my heavenly father above, and the love and support from my family, and my friends for making the ride awesome! It has been quite a journey into adulthood.

As one chapter in my life is wrapping up I anticipate what's next. The next phase is embarking on my career. I've been fortunate enough to have a job following college so, I don't particularly dread the question "So what's next for you?" But because I'm moving to a different state away from family and friends I have been asked quite often if I'm excited, nervous, ready, etc. My answer has been consistent and robotic - yes, I'm excited, no, I'm not nervous, and I think I'm ready. But I've actually taken the time to ponder and sort out my feelings about everything. My sentiments floats between the excitement of finally "growing up" and entering the real world and concern on the fact that things are significantly about to change.I realize part of "growing up" is learning when to let go. Letting go of fear of change and not necessarily knowing what lies ahead. Letting go of the comfortableness of having your friends around you all the time, letting go of a relationship that was never quite meant to be. Everyone has their own "let gos" they have to make, these are just some of mine.

Change. I've spent the past 17 years or so in school. And all of sudden I'm given the freedom to roam, to not study, to not attend class, to not write papers/take exams. Gee what's a girl to do? It will certainly take some time to adjust to this new found freedom granted, freedom is relative. My new found freedom involves waking early in the morning to enter into an institution called an "office," and work for 8 to 12 hours a day, circumstantial to the task for the day. Wow freedom is sweet! Not to sound so grave, this freedom does come with money and the perks associated with that.

Friendships. Have you ever thought about how much time you spend with your friends? I haven't really either. You will when a time period comes when you will have to be away from them. I personally think we spend more time with my friends than with our family, at least I know I do. Now that I'll be away from my core friends do I believe I may lose those friendships? In the past, I would have said yes, but once again part of "growing up" is not only letting go of such notions but also knowing that the foundation of anything is what keeps it standing. Friendship is one of those things you have to work on. While I can't hop in my car and present myself at their door randomly (as I often do) or look forward to weekend outings where I know I'll see my friends, they'll certainly still be in my heart. But, my hope is that they think of me and pray for me often as I intend to do for them as well. I find the excuse people make in saying "I'm not very good at checking up on people" inexcusable. If you truly care about someone you will make it a habit to check in on them. And, they say, habits are hard to break.

Relationships. God brings people into your life for a reason. Some of those relationships are seasonal, while others are a bit more long-termed. I'm learning to come to terms with that statement. Not all relationships are long-term and even in the long-term ones, the dynamic of those relationships may change. The hard part is usually deciding what to do with those relationships, especially those involving the opposite sex. Part of "growing up" is learning to define relationships from the start. A defined relationship is so important in order to eliminate ambiguity. If anything does change as the relationship progress, it's also very important to discuss it with the individual. If there is anyone out there struggling with the issue of whether to pursue a relationship or not, my honest answer is to go straight to the person who created you both and ask for His opinion. Trust me, what God tells you is ALWAYS right, may not be the answer you want to hear but it's precisely the answer you need to hear (speaking from personal experience). Don't be discouraged, when the answer is "no" or "not now," just know that His plans are much greater than what you can ever vision or imagine. And an encouragement for those who are still single. Singleness is not a prison sentence. Embrace it. It is a period of time where you have the freedom to cultivate your relationship with Christ without any other distractions.

Frederick W. Cropp once said, "There is much in the world to make us afraid. There is much more in your [our] faith to make us unafraid." That's something I know I can certainly count on - my faith in Christ. Things may change around me but my father is the same. I take great comfort in recognizing that!

P.S. I may not be writing for a while. I need some time to adjust to my new "freedom." So please pardon my brief leave of absence.

With Love,

Get Fired Up!

I received some very bad news while at church yesterday that I friend of mine had passed. I've known this individual since middle school. Although not someone I would consider 'best friend,' when we did speak we had very good conversations. I also had a sense of closeness to him since he was dating my best friend. His life was taken very young as he recently just turned 23. The details unimportant, but certainly a case of a good guy being at the wrong place at the wrong time. I've never had to deal with loss. This would be the closest thing to dealing with loss that I've had to face.

What hurts my heart the most is the fact that I don't really know if he was saved. I know he went to church with my friend and I've seen him a couple of times myself. But as believers of Christ we should not fear death because we know that we are going to meet our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ in heaven. But for non-believers it's a very scary realization of not having that assurance. This situation really has been bothering my heart because he is a friend of mine. Our main goal on the earth is to proclaim the gospel of Jesus. I certainly have not being doing that consistently. Being comfortable in knowing you're going to heaven is great but what about your friends? your family? your co-workers? God has been really speaking to my heart to share the word especially to young people like myself. We usually believe when we get "older" we'll live for Christ, but, honestly who knows what 'older' will be for us. The bible says in Psalm 90:12 "Teach us to number our days aright so we may gain a heart of wisdom." Another translations says "teach us to realize the brevity of life."

Life is very short and each day is a gift from God. I'm still trying to accept the fact that people's salvation is not to fall on my shoulders rather my role is to open my mouth about the gift of salvation which Christ has given me and leave the conviction of their hearts to God. With the loss of my friend I'm even more fired up about the mission that has been handed to us Christians. So you too should get - fired up!

Here, listen to one of my favorite songs....

SPEAK

by Jimmy Needham

Oh Sippy Cup Tears

Happy March! Okay March is clearly over but I'm glad I'm making a post before it's officially over. I'm not sure if a lot of you can relate to this post but I will share anyways. Today was just one of those (for a lack of a better word) "blah" days. Like extremely "blah" days. I was so unhappy about everything. I complained about my hair not being perfect, school being such a drag, my legs being too skinny, spending my last spring break at home and not Paris as I had planned, having to take my cousin to school every morning on my spring break, and honestly there was a list of things. I was overwhelmed with sadness to the point of tears. And for those who know me I'm not a very emotional person, so I never cry, well almost never. But this morning I probably could have filled a sippy cup with my tears. And if I were asked what was wrong I'm not sure if I would have had a decent reply...something more along the line (while sobbing) "I don't know. Everything!"

After my sob session I decided my hunger wouldn't feed itself so I decided to get breakfast. I really wanted cereal, opened the fridge to find out there was no milk. OMGeee no milk!!! So I cried again. At this point I knew I was pathetic so I kept crying at the realization that I was crying at the slightest thing. Finding something else to eat minutes later I plopped in front of the television. Usually I'm watching CNN or CNBC to feed the "news junkie" side I have developed over the years but for some reason the channel went to TBN. For those you do not know what TBN is, it is one of the largest Christian broadcasting network in the US. I figured it was better than watching the crisis in Libya and Japan unfold further inciting my sadness. I think I spent an hour or so on the couch and boy was it an uplifting experience. To start off this woman was sharing her testimony about her 3yr old son who had some disease (I forgot the name) which pretty much left him underdeveloped and paralyzed. With faith and prayer her son was healed. The before and after footage was amazing! Praise God! Still upset about my lack of milk I thought wait...I'm healthy! I don't have everything I want but I sure do have everything I need which is simply air, shelter, food. Feeling much better I decided I desperately needed me time with God. Oh the way my heavenly father works! I randomly opened the bible and this is what I came across:

1 Peter 1:8-9 "Though you have not seen him, you love him, and even though you do not see him now, you believe in him and are filled with an inexpressible and glorious joy, for you are receiving the goal of your faith, the salvation of your souls."

I later had a revelation. So I've been very diligent in reading the word and spending quality with my creator. I decided to skip out on devotion the day before. The result of my action was like day and night. All these things I was complaining about didn't magically appear overnight. It's just that when I'm in the presence of God, He fills my heart with inexpressible joy that I don't have time or even the desire to complain. One of my favorite quotes says "A man is a product of their thoughts." WORD. I spent the previous day watching YouTube videos and Facebooking, comparing my life with others. After a long hiatus from social networking sites, I'm now beginning to remember why I had left in the first place. It's like venom. It slowly works into your blood stream then before you know what hit you, you're DEAD. Gruesome...sorry. This is quite similar with the spirit. When we feed our spirit with junk, we produce junk (i.e worry, sadness, depression etc...) but when your spirit is filled with ? (not sure the word but the opposite of junk) you yield good things (i.e. joy). The scripture above is amazing. God did not promise us a trouble free life. Honestly as a Christian if you don't have at least one thing that's not perfect in your life, something is wrong. That's a sign of complacency and there's no room for growth. There's always a reason for situations we face. During the broadcast this song by Mandisa titled, Not Guilty also came on which I thought was so beautiful. This is the exact footage that came on.

Now I'm not saying complaining is bad or it's wrong to desire better things, I'm simply saying it's imperative to not let those desires consume your heart. Because (1) you lose perspective of what you do have and (2) you'll never be satisfied.

Hope this message touches someone. For now I'm saying goodbye to sippy cup tears...

Au Naturelle and all that jazz

Bonne année-Happy New Year! haha I realized you haven't heard this from me yet. And no I'm not a slacker, I've actually been blogging, it's just been set on private. So much for transparency...lol. No but some issues I've been dealing with for the purpose of protecting the individual(s) involved I've decided to keep it private. Yea and I can't even change the names because most people reading this may know who(m) I'm speaking of. With that said I apologize, when the time comes I'll reveal everything....

So, OMGoodness, I cannot believe I have yet to dedicate a post on this topic! To not discuss this subject is to conceal a vital part of my being. Haha, I'm being exaggerative but hope you still get my point. This past October marked my 1 year anniversary of being "natural." First let's define natural hair: (Natural hair is unprocessed hair that has not been chemically altered in texture or color.) To make you further understand this concept for those who are not familiar with black hair I suggest watching a documentary by Chris Rock entitled "Good Hair."

I did not understand the concept of natural hair until I got to college. I mean I never really thought I knew anyone with natural hair but I realize I've seen a few in high school. I used to think they just had really bad perms. Ignorance - I know. Actually two of best friends in HS had natural hair but they wore it differently. Let's simply just say I was a confused teen. Here's a brief hair background story. I was natural for sometime in my life, probably the first 6 years. Honestly a large chunk of my childhood is pretty hazy to me. Moving here from a different country at the age of 7, I forgot a lot of my life before. Not sure the exact age I got my first perm but I had it and it was just a part of life...like brushing my teeth except it wasn't on a daily basis.

So the question I get asked most is why did you decide to go natural. My answer is probably not what you're going to expect. Here we go... So I had my hair constantly straightened for a while instead of getting a perm. (Define perm: a chemical application that changes your hair texture from curly to straight.) One day browsing the internet, I stumbled upon a forum on natural hair and found this other world on 'naturals' on the internet I was not familiar with. I was so fascinated that I would spend hours reading all this info about natural hair. At the time, I was an RA and I brought up my findings during a meeting and said 'I'm going natural' (of course I wasn't SERIOUS) but everyone laughed at me as if it was a joke, but my tone was seemingly serious. Boy did that make me angry! The fact that people thought I couldn't do it, fueled my passion to want to prove them wrong. So that's how it all began. I went the entire summer without a perm. Of course since I wasn't 100% committed I almost chickened out till I took out braids I had done during the summer. I wasn't all that familiar with braids either since I usually didn't wear them in my hair. I did something horribly wrong that could not be fixed. It's like getting gum stuck in your hair. But I had 'gum' stuck in my entire head...a detangling fiasco!!! The hair stylist had no idea what to do, I was frustrated, sad, mortified. 50 minutes after trying to fix it at the salon, I grabbed a scissors and asked her to cut it all off. "Girl, you sure?" "Yes cut it all off!" I replied. And so she did....and I bawled.

And there my natural journey began. Glamorous right? NOT. I didn't fully embrace 'natural' in the beginning. I would wear scarves, hats, weaves, anything to conceal my head. I was very self-conscious because my hair had always been my safety net and to not have that safety was devastating. I felt much more beautiful with longer hair, which I partially blame on society. There's a certain mold of beauty that we ingrain in our minds which we inherently and subconsciously pass on to impressionable kids whether we know it or not.

I'm sure I've said this many times - I have the greatest friends in the whole world. I received a lot of encouragement from both my girl and guy friends. I love my family...but they were the least bit supportive of this movement initially. I finally had the courage to show off my new 'do' 5 months post-cut. The amount of compliments and great feedback I received was outstanding. Not to say this made me more confident, because I was honestly at a point where I could have cared less what others thought about me. This change in the perception of myself was so dramatic. The idealisms of beauty I once had was completely shattered. I created a new image of what I thought was beautiful and boy was I in love with it. To embrace the hair that grows out of my head was liberating! I remain natural because my hair is so much healthier, it's very cost-efficient, and I love the versatility in hair styles. I would be lying if I said I didn't face many challenges and still do. But like so many other issues we face in our lives, you have your happy days, your not so happy days, your extremely angry days, but you wake up the next day get over your frustration, learn from it and keep it moving.

It's been 1 year and a few months since I was 'forced' into making the decision to go natural but honestly that's one decision I'm glad I was forced to do. Out of the plethora of decisions I've had to make, this is certainly one I've never regretted :)

Here are some pics...

relaxed hair.....................big cut.........................1yr natural :)

Au revoir mes amis! - as you can see my French has greatly improved. One day my entire post will be in French and you will have to translate :)

I Finally See You...

Ok, so this was my PRIVATE POST....just now making it public (6/22/11)

Have you ever seen someone but have never really SEEN them? This post will clarify a few things. So this past week I've been an emotional wreck. I'm the least emotional person you will meet. I'm very rational and thorough with my thoughts. Before you get into a frenzy, nothing is wrong per say but I just hate not being in control of my thoughts...someone else is. I've never had someone consume my thoughts for such a long time and it is driving me CRAZY!

One year ago today, God brought me to my knees in tears, convicted my heart, and encouraged me...more like forced me to surrender my pen to him. This past year He's really taught me a lot about having healthy, pure, God-centered relationships with the opposite sex. My journey hasn't been perfect but I can really see God working in my life.

So there's someone in my life I've known for quite some time now. I see them quite often and we hang out a lot. I know quite a lot about them even their family. This person has always been there for me. They embody everything most girls would want in a relationship (God-fearing, smart, family loving, attractive, passionate individual) but I've never really seen this person as anything more than my friend. It clearly took a very long time but I feel like God's telling me "what you need has been in front of you this entire time you just need to remove your blinders and open your eyes." A part of me wants to yell on top of my lungs and say I FINALLY SEE YOU! But I can't...God's timing is so much more beautiful.

Played this way too much:

India Arie

Beautiful Surprise

*See Update* - under relationships

Happy Birthday/Anniversary!

Whooo! I'm not one year old I promise. But DECEMBER is here! This week marks my 1 year anniversary blogging. And last week was my birthday! Two pretty significant dates I would say. I can honestly say I wasn't quite sure I would be able to maintain this blog but I did. I'm proud.

This year was very low key. I spent a good portion of my birthday in the library. Nerd. I know. I didn't really do much celebration this year, come to think of it none actually, very different from the previous year. But that does not take away from how extremely grateful I am to God for blessing me with another year. This year has had its ups and downs but through it all I know He's always been by my side and has taught me some valuable lessons as I continue to grow in Him. I'm grateful to my wonder family who has put up with this 'princess' for ## years.

This post is going to be quite raw. Be warned. It almost seems inappropriate to go from such a happy tone to a more serious one. But this is something that has been weighing heavily on my heart for a while now and I figure I would share. This past year I've found a shift in a lot of friendships. To be exact I find myself drifting apart from some relatively close people. I think we often feel obligated to hold many relationships because of time. For example childhood friends or friends you met in high school. But some relationships just leaves you feeling drained, mostly because you're doing all the work in trying to maintain them or they are simply just unhealthy (I'm not saying I am a perfect friend, of course I have my many flaws) But we do outgrow friends overtime. As we mature and find a better understanding of who we are, our needs and value systems changes and will differ from others.

I've always been willing take on the role of being the listener/advice giver or whatever you want to call it. I'm not much of a sharer but ever so often when I do, I find that most people don't really listen or somehow find ways to turn the conversation back on themselves. So, I listen instead. And I've mastered that to some extent. Most are shocked how much detail I remember about a particular conversation that was held or their life in general. It usually goes something like this..."How'd you know that?"..."Eh you told me"..."Oh really." I'm not saying don't talk about yourself, I think we get so wrapped up in our lives we forget others are living life too. We fail miserably to use any sense of emotional intelligence we have to know when to stop talking and listen.

It would be a lie if I said I wasn't hurting. This has been a very difficult period for me. Emotional detachment is the hardest part. I sometimes miss these friendships but I ultimately know I'm making the right decision and I'm trying to untangle myself from feelings of guilt. Of course the love I have for them will never change. It's weird to not have that 'best friend' kind of person to speak to about your day without really having to say much because you know they would understand. It's a bit lonely at times. But in all of this, God is revealing to me that my dependency should be solely on him. I've found myself talking to him more. Friends, even long-time friends will disappear but God says...

Hebrew 13:5 "I will never leave you nor forsake you."

God does understand the need for human relationships. And because of this has brought some wonderful people into my life within the past year or so. Although they can't finish my sentence or fully know what I'm thinking all the time because the relationship is fresh but I know they truly care. And I'll take that any day...

True Beauty

If I Were A Boy

So I've been thinking a lot, a little too much perhaps - what it is like to be a boy/man. Well this sort of stems from a love triangle I've found myself entangled in. It's a long story, but here's a synopsis. Boy with girlfriend thinks I'm the girl for him but I know I shouldn't even entertain the idea. And of course girlfriend is absolutely in love with guy and thinks he's the one. Oh boy - we'll leave it at that.

I recently went to an event with a friend, who was floored by the group of attractive men present. I agreed but looked around and concluded that there were twice as many attractive girls there as well. It really got me thinking - How does a guy choose one? I don't know how they do. There are so many beautiful girls out there. Let me clarify, this is in terms of physical appearance. The ratio of male to female in the world is surprisingly is 1.1 to 1. I would have predicted it to be much higher. As girls we're more inclined to fall for a guy and love him till the forever after but guys are easily distracted. I'm not necessarily a Beyonce fan but it's ironic I heard her song "If I Were A Boy" sometime this week. Couldn't help but chuckle at the irony. Anyways pretty good lyrics I must say.

Ladies we have so much competition out there, that is if you're competing based on physical traits. I'm mean if we were comparing who had biggest jugs - I would probably come in last place. But Proverbs 31:30 says:

"Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman (man) who fears the Lord is to be praised."

On my way to class this week, I had a guy on his phone stop his conversation mid-sentence to tell me I was beautiful. (I secretly wanted to ask, why he thought I was beautiful, but then realize he'll think I'm this 'beautiful' crazy chic) Instead, I appreciated the comment and said thank you but once again the analytical part of me started to think. Who are we to dictate what "beauty" is? Beauty is nothing but a social construct used to make ourselves feel better about our position/status/association to things in the world. The truth is, looks does NOT matter the most. As cliche, as this sounds it's really about what's on the inside. And the only person that can make us beautiful on the inside is God. You want a woman/man who is not solely interested in your outside beauty but your character. The truth is we're all going to get old. I'm not saying aging is ugly, it's a very beautiful thing actually. What I am saying is our standard of beauty changes often.

This post speaks volume to me as well. I gravitate toward so called "pretty boys." A friend half-way jokingly said to me...if I were a boy, I would be a pimp. It's a sad truth. Now if I were a boy...I would ask God to direct my footsteps and help me to see beyond physical beauty but actively seek out girls with genuine characters. But I'm a girl and my prayer is that I should not be influenced by the compliments showered on me by guys but actively seek out guys that look far beyond my physical traits.

With Love,

Where are You?

Bonjour,

Yes I know it's been almost four months since I've blogged. If we're friends on facebook you know I've been everywhere else (Delaware, Houston, Philly, New Jersey, Atlanta, Baltimore) but my blog. And you guys have consistently reminded me of my hiatus. Which I'm grateful for because this means I actually have people that read my posts. So thanks :) There's been so much that has transpired this past few months and my fear was how I would transform 4 months of existence into a post hence the post hiatus but I'm going to try...

Let's begin with my summer...

WORK
So I interned with JPMorgan and it was quite an experience. A good one. The work (investment banking - project management) was okay, not exactly what I call the "sexy job" but the experience really opened my eyes to what I would like to do at the start of my professional career. For me the best part of my experience was the people I got to meet. Very genuine people and some really good friends for life. It felt surreal being surround by top executives in the company and being asked for my opinion on certain issues. I had the opportunity to become really good friends with the Global Diversity Officer for the company GLOBALLY! Till today I can't believe how that happened - the fact that I can call up the GDO of JPM worldwide and she's like "Hi Tayo". The only thing I can say is definitely the favor of God. This woman is absolutely amazing and has been a wonderful mentor during my experience there. God's worked it all out and really made me shine as an intern as a result I was offered a full-time offer to return after graduation. With what's going on in the economy and even knowing recent graduates without a job, it feels awesome and humbling to know that I have this great opportunity. I'm still asking and praying for directions on what to do. I know it sounds like a no brainer! "Take the job! What are you thinking?" (most of you are thinking). But honestly when it comes down to it, my philosophy has been not to accept the obvious but rely on God to direct your footsteps and lead you in the direction He wants you to go. And that's what I am doing right now.

LIFE
So far I've spoken of a lot of positives. This past 4 months hasn't all been rosy to say the least. So I'm going to keep it real. I struggled a lot with my faith this summer. Like a lot. I think I possible failed every test God gave me. Shame. I know. But by his grace I'm able to now look back and see areas of potential growth. 2 Corinthians 12:9 "For my strength is made perfect in your weakness." I struggled deeply with maintaining good finances. It felt like I was working and making a lot of money but the money was flying out invariably having nothing to show for it. I also struggled with my relationships with men. This area really got me down and virtually separated me from God. Mostly because I thought I've grown so much in learning how to have healthy relationships with guys and handing over "the pen" to God and such. My approach was to just completely erase and not acknowledge guys in my life. This included deleting numbers, texts, yes and even some facebook friends. I mean it worked for a while but the lesson was still not learned more like suppressed. Hence I fell back into the trap. A friend wrote this to me...

"perhaps God's trying to teach you how to handle such friendship/relationship in a godly manner because if he stopped putting guys in front of you now, they'll just pop up later, and you will still struggle...but learning to deal with it the God-glorifying way will be more beneficial than simply having God remove attractive guys from your life...after all you can't seem to avoid them!

Honestly this is possibly the wisest advice I've gotten in a long time. But it's so difficult to be level-headed when you're not in your comfort zone or in other words surrounded by people who you know will hold you accountable for your actions spiritually. It's something that happens whether I'm in Delaware, California, or across the globe in London. I'm really trying to get to a place where it's just me and God - no matter where I am. To a place where I'm constantly thinking if He approves of my actions. It is extremely difficult but it's a life He requires from those who love Him.

BARCELONA
So if you've seen me in Maryland I'm obviously still in America and NOT Barcelona, Spain as I intended to be for fall study abroad program. I really wanted to be in Barca, but I don't think it was God's will. Trust me, I didn't take it easy, having to drop out last minute, certainly one of the circumstances that had me questioning God and His love for me. Funny right. Humans I tell you. It's sad that we let our faith be based on God's activity and not His identity. I'm gradually starting to see why I needed to be here this semester and I'm more than grateful the way things worked out. Barcelona can wait :)

MOVING FORWARD...
I'm taking each day a step at a time. I'm loving everyday I wake up and every moment the Lord has given me. Peace and joy is such a rare experience that many people don't get on a daily basis. And that's mostly because we worry too much. But when you let go and let God you start to feel peace and inner joy that's inexpressible...it's beautiful. And I'm feeling it. My semester is full but so much fun. I'm picking up a 4th language, French, taking a massage class, learning finally how to play tennis (correctly) and how to swim (correctly). Don't get me wrong it's not all play, I'm still taking my business courses. But I'm really excited about my last year in undergrad. I'm getting involved in things I never thought I would. For example, today I started to learn how to tight-rope walk and skydiving trip coming up soon - c'mon you gotta keep up with me :)

Peace & love
Au revoir mes amies

P.S Please leave thoughts and comments, I really appreciate your inputs.