Happy March! Okay March is clearly over but I'm glad I'm making a post before it's officially over. I'm not sure if a lot of you can relate to this post but I will share anyways. Today was just one of those (for a lack of a better word) "blah" days. Like extremely "blah" days. I was so unhappy about everything. I complained about my hair not being perfect, school being such a drag, my legs being too skinny, spending my last spring break at home and not Paris as I had planned, having to take my cousin to school every morning on my spring break, and honestly there was a list of things. I was overwhelmed with sadness to the point of tears. And for those who know me I'm not a very emotional person, so I never cry, well almost never. But this morning I probably could have filled a sippy cup with my tears. And if I were asked what was wrong I'm not sure if I would have had a decent reply...something more along the line (while sobbing) "I don't know. Everything!"
After my sob session I decided my hunger wouldn't feed itself so I decided to get breakfast. I really wanted cereal, opened the fridge to find out there was no milk. OMGeee no milk!!! So I cried again. At this point I knew I was pathetic so I kept crying at the realization that I was crying at the slightest thing. Finding something else to eat minutes later I plopped in front of the television. Usually I'm watching CNN or CNBC to feed the "news junkie" side I have developed over the years but for some reason the channel went to TBN. For those you do not know what TBN is, it is one of the largest Christian broadcasting network in the US. I figured it was better than watching the crisis in Libya and Japan unfold further inciting my sadness. I think I spent an hour or so on the couch and boy was it an uplifting experience. To start off this woman was sharing her testimony about her 3yr old son who had some disease (I forgot the name) which pretty much left him underdeveloped and paralyzed. With faith and prayer her son was healed. The before and after footage was amazing! Praise God! Still upset about my lack of milk I thought wait...I'm healthy! I don't have everything I want but I sure do have everything I need which is simply air, shelter, food. Feeling much better I decided I desperately needed me time with God. Oh the way my heavenly father works! I randomly opened the bible and this is what I came across:
1 Peter 1:8-9 "Though you have not seen him, you love him, and even though you do not see him now, you believe in him and are filled with an inexpressible and glorious joy, for you are receiving the goal of your faith, the salvation of your souls."
I later had a revelation. So I've been very diligent in reading the word and spending quality with my creator. I decided to skip out on devotion the day before. The result of my action was like day and night. All these things I was complaining about didn't magically appear overnight. It's just that when I'm in the presence of God, He fills my heart with inexpressible joy that I don't have time or even the desire to complain. One of my favorite quotes says "A man is a product of their thoughts." WORD. I spent the previous day watching YouTube videos and Facebooking, comparing my life with others. After a long hiatus from social networking sites, I'm now beginning to remember why I had left in the first place. It's like venom. It slowly works into your blood stream then before you know what hit you, you're DEAD. Gruesome...sorry. This is quite similar with the spirit. When we feed our spirit with junk, we produce junk (i.e worry, sadness, depression etc...) but when your spirit is filled with ? (not sure the word but the opposite of junk) you yield good things (i.e. joy). The scripture above is amazing. God did not promise us a trouble free life. Honestly as a Christian if you don't have at least one thing that's not perfect in your life, something is wrong. That's a sign of complacency and there's no room for growth. There's always a reason for situations we face. During the broadcast this song by Mandisa titled, Not Guilty also came on which I thought was so beautiful. This is the exact footage that came on.
Now I'm not saying complaining is bad or it's wrong to desire better things, I'm simply saying it's imperative to not let those desires consume your heart. Because (1) you lose perspective of what you do have and (2) you'll never be satisfied.
Hope this message touches someone. For now I'm saying goodbye to sippy cup tears...
