New Beginnings

I can truly say I've missed blogging! It's been way too long. In my defense it's been quite an hectic few months, moving, starting a new job, and adjusting to a new chapter in my life. In my previous post I shared my concerns about being away from family and friends and a change in life, but I can say I'm truly content in the situation I am in. I firmly believe God's plan for me is remarkable and I'm willing to accept where ever it may take me. And my job is a great illustration of that. I haven't met a lot of people who actually enjoy their experience in their first job right out of college, but I'm actually very pleased with mine. It wasn't where I saw myself initially but I'm glad I listened to Him and cannot imagine how my experience would have been if I had taken the path I had designed for myself.

I have to admit it was a struggle in the beginning getting used to change. It was quite tempting to fall back into the world and my old self by not having a community of believers to hold me accountable. But I'm so thankful for the grace of God and for great people in my life. I'm thinking of one in particular who knew my struggles and prayerfully encouraged me. Only God knows how much love my heart holds for you sis (you know who you are). In the interim, I'm still praying to find a community of believers to fellowship with but I'm happy to say my love for God is not affected by that void.

Switching gears a bit. Something that's been on my mind that I almost don't want to share but I've vowed to be a transparent writer - and transparency I will uphold. Have you ever felt people are exceptionally nice to you? Or you meet people who just become such a blessing to you? Well....I do! When I share stories of my good fortune, people really find it hard to believe, even I'm caught off guard at times. Being alone and having to take care of everything myself, it's more evident. From getting free things to ridiculous discounts like up to 400 off furniture to meeting a well-respected retired cop who lives in my building and has a pull in the system clear my outstanding tickets...and this is really just to name a few. I don't say all this to sound pretentious but the only rationale I can really come up with is I really feel like the glory of God is upon my life, every aspect of it. I'm truly blessed and highly favored! I know the saying is "it's more of a blessing to give than to receive," but receiving is really nice. When it happens to you I'm sure you'll agree too. But as someone who loves to give, it's really nice to see that God doesn't forget about me. Experiencing new beginnings....

Letting Go...

To start off...I am officially a graduate from college! Yea and with DOS/DIEU (the number 2 for Spanish/French illiterate) degrees. Definitely could not have done it without the strength from my heavenly father above, and the love and support from my family, and my friends for making the ride awesome! It has been quite a journey into adulthood.

As one chapter in my life is wrapping up I anticipate what's next. The next phase is embarking on my career. I've been fortunate enough to have a job following college so, I don't particularly dread the question "So what's next for you?" But because I'm moving to a different state away from family and friends I have been asked quite often if I'm excited, nervous, ready, etc. My answer has been consistent and robotic - yes, I'm excited, no, I'm not nervous, and I think I'm ready. But I've actually taken the time to ponder and sort out my feelings about everything. My sentiments floats between the excitement of finally "growing up" and entering the real world and concern on the fact that things are significantly about to change.I realize part of "growing up" is learning when to let go. Letting go of fear of change and not necessarily knowing what lies ahead. Letting go of the comfortableness of having your friends around you all the time, letting go of a relationship that was never quite meant to be. Everyone has their own "let gos" they have to make, these are just some of mine.

Change. I've spent the past 17 years or so in school. And all of sudden I'm given the freedom to roam, to not study, to not attend class, to not write papers/take exams. Gee what's a girl to do? It will certainly take some time to adjust to this new found freedom granted, freedom is relative. My new found freedom involves waking early in the morning to enter into an institution called an "office," and work for 8 to 12 hours a day, circumstantial to the task for the day. Wow freedom is sweet! Not to sound so grave, this freedom does come with money and the perks associated with that.

Friendships. Have you ever thought about how much time you spend with your friends? I haven't really either. You will when a time period comes when you will have to be away from them. I personally think we spend more time with my friends than with our family, at least I know I do. Now that I'll be away from my core friends do I believe I may lose those friendships? In the past, I would have said yes, but once again part of "growing up" is not only letting go of such notions but also knowing that the foundation of anything is what keeps it standing. Friendship is one of those things you have to work on. While I can't hop in my car and present myself at their door randomly (as I often do) or look forward to weekend outings where I know I'll see my friends, they'll certainly still be in my heart. But, my hope is that they think of me and pray for me often as I intend to do for them as well. I find the excuse people make in saying "I'm not very good at checking up on people" inexcusable. If you truly care about someone you will make it a habit to check in on them. And, they say, habits are hard to break.

Relationships. God brings people into your life for a reason. Some of those relationships are seasonal, while others are a bit more long-termed. I'm learning to come to terms with that statement. Not all relationships are long-term and even in the long-term ones, the dynamic of those relationships may change. The hard part is usually deciding what to do with those relationships, especially those involving the opposite sex. Part of "growing up" is learning to define relationships from the start. A defined relationship is so important in order to eliminate ambiguity. If anything does change as the relationship progress, it's also very important to discuss it with the individual. If there is anyone out there struggling with the issue of whether to pursue a relationship or not, my honest answer is to go straight to the person who created you both and ask for His opinion. Trust me, what God tells you is ALWAYS right, may not be the answer you want to hear but it's precisely the answer you need to hear (speaking from personal experience). Don't be discouraged, when the answer is "no" or "not now," just know that His plans are much greater than what you can ever vision or imagine. And an encouragement for those who are still single. Singleness is not a prison sentence. Embrace it. It is a period of time where you have the freedom to cultivate your relationship with Christ without any other distractions.

Frederick W. Cropp once said, "There is much in the world to make us afraid. There is much more in your [our] faith to make us unafraid." That's something I know I can certainly count on - my faith in Christ. Things may change around me but my father is the same. I take great comfort in recognizing that!

P.S. I may not be writing for a while. I need some time to adjust to my new "freedom." So please pardon my brief leave of absence.

With Love,